The Hokage is Splitsville
by son of a peach
Summary: Answer to Perfect Lionheart's Missing Hokage Challenge see his profile for details. chapter 4 up: Naruto and the gang are on their way after his banishment, but trouble follows them on the way to Wave
1. Chapter 1

Hi, this is a response to Perfect Lionheart's missing hokage challenge (see Lionheart's profile for full details). There are already some great versions of this challenge out there, but I hope I can add a little something to it. (BTW, if anyone is interested, I have a challenge of my own on my profile)

I of course do not own Naruto, like everyone else who publishes on this site.

And now, on with the story

The Godaime Hokage strolled down the halls, humming an off-key tune and grinning like a maniac. To anyone who didn't know her, they might think she was happy. Anyone who knew her, however, or saw the look in her eye, turned around and walked away at top speed at the sight of her. The Godaime was not happy.

After a nerve wracking mission in which the rookie nine, the gennin, and the future of the village had almost been wiped out, the traitor from their midst had been brought back. However, the one she most feared to lose, Naruto, had almost died at the hands of his former team-mate and supposed friend. And to top it all off, several doctors in the hospital were refusing to treat Naruto for the wounds received in retrieving Sasuke. No, the Godaime was far from happy, but she was about to spread her unhappiness around, and possibly feel just a little better.

The conference room contained a cross section of hospital staff, from doctors to nurses, all looked up in confusion mixed with a little fear as she strode through the door to the head of the table. "Thank you all for taking this time out of your rounds, I know things have been a bit busy lately."

At her calm tone and smile, many began to relax. Tsunade fought to keep a feral grin off her face. "I wanted to congratulate you all on your special dedication to the Hippocratic oath. I know it must have been tough putting aside any feelings of betrayal for the Uchiha boy, but you gave him the best of care." Expressions of relief and self congratulations passed around the room. "You are to be commended, as the quality of his care exceeded that of other, loyal Konoha shinobi. In fact I found that one such shinobi received almost no care as a result, one Uzumaki Naruto. You'll be glad know, I'm sure, that your Triage of Naruto did not result in his death, and that he is expected to make a full recovery."

Sudenly, every smile in the room took on a waxy cast, as the collected practitioners tried not to reveal their distaste for this last piece of news.

"Anyways, in honor of your actions, I wanted to present you with these." With this statement, Tsunade slung what appeared to be a golfer's caddy-bag off her back and onto the floor. Pulling one of the apparent sock clad clubs out of the bag, she presented it to the doctor standing closest to her.

"What is this, Tsunade-sama?" the doctor asked with a little trepidation.

"That my good man, is an amazing medical device known as a cane." Tsunade smiled at him.

"But why would I want a AAAAGH!" the screaming doctor fell to the floor after Tsunade spun the cane around and hit him in the shin, breaking his leg.

"It's to go with our new limp." Tsunade smiled down at him coldly. The remaining people in the room froze in shock. Or perhaps it was the Genjutsu cast by Yuuhi Kurenai that glued them to the spot. "Now I find that your compassion is lacking, so I will give you a taste of the pain that you allowed a ninja of this village to experience by not performing your jobs. Refusal to treat one of our shinobi in time of crisis or war can be considered an act of treason. If I find out you have done it again, it won't just be your careers that I terminate." With that, Tsunade coldly carried out her threat, breaking one of the legs of each of the treacherous doctors, leaving a cane beside each.

"I'll get some orderlies to come in and find you beds, and leave you doctors to, as they say, heal yourselves." Tsunade strode from the room, flanked by Kurenai and Shizune. At a nod from her longtime master, Shizune split off to arrange the "accommodations" for the hospitals new patients. Tsunade spoke to Kurenai over her shoulder, "I am sorry to have involved you in this mater, but it seemed the least cruel punishment I could come up with that didn't make a mockery of justice."

"It is quite alright, Hokage-sama. They got less than they deserved. I was with Hinata when they brought him in, and frankly I'm amazed he survived at all, let alone neglected as he has been."

Meanwhile, in another part of town, another meeting was taking place.

"Thank you all for coming at such short notice. I see we have quorum, and so I call this emergency meeting of the Konoha council to order. The issue at hand, as I am sure you are all aware, is what is to be done with two of our wayward young Gennin." Danzo grimly addressed the assembled council.

"I am sorry, I was only aware of the one Gennin: Uchiha Sasuke." Stated Shikaku Nara, his hunched form and steepled hands belying the courtesy of his words.

"That indeed is a serious matter, but there is also the matter of Uzumaki Naruto." Danzo's face remained impassive, despite the anticipation he felt. The battle ahead of him promised to be exhilarating. It was one of the few arenas he had left, and while it lacked the physical rush of ninja fights, the joy of cunning tactics lost nothing in translation.

Tsume Inuzuka growled, "What matter with Naruto? From what I heard, he successfully stopped the defection of the Uchiha. Succeeded, I might add, where the heirs to several of the great clans failed. If anything the boy is to be commended, but somehow I doubt that is what you're alluding to."

A screeching voice was heard, from one Hana Haruno "Congratulate that _thing_? For nearly killing the last Uchiha? If anything we should kill that de-"

"SILENCE! Even though we are all aware of the pertinent facts, that law will NOT be broken, on pain of death." Hiashi Hyuuga was unaccustomedly voluble, but the council was glad not to deal with enforcing the thirds law. That and even those who shared The Haruno's sentiment found her voice to be grating.

"Much though I wish I could commend Uzumaki on discharging his duty, some disturbing facts are present in his sensei's mission report. A massive discharge of demonic chakra was felt from the vicinity. It is believed that he released his seal, at least in part, in order to beat the Uchiha. Further, on reviewing the prior mission reports, I have found that this is not the first time this has happened." Danzo let this sink in for a moment.

"The report from his mission to wave states that while in battle against the missing nin Zabuza, he felt a surge of chakra similar to that of the Kyuubi coming from the vicinity of the battle between Zabuza's underling, Haku I think was the name, and Naruto and Sasuke. He then observed Haku fly through one of his barriers, followed by Naruto, who, and I quote, 'exhibited animalistic behavior and was surrounded by an aura of red chakra.'" Danzo's face seemed suitably grim. It wasn't easy schooling his features from grinning, but years of practice allowed it. "Then there was the Chunin exams, where it was reported that he called on the red chakra in the forest when faced with Orochimaru…"

Tsume Inuzuka was incensed. "In all of the instances you speak of, he has used this red chakra to defend his teammates against missing ninja! That is the act of a hero, not a 'problem'."

"If you would be so good as to let me finish, I was getting to that point. In the third round of the Chunin exams, He again used the red chakra against a fellow leaf ninja, one Neji Hyuuga. And last but not least, on his latest mission it seems he used it again while fighting another leaf nin, Sasuke Uchiha, who was listed in Critical Care until recently. The pattern seems to be that Uzumaki is losing control, becoming increasingly indiscriminant in using… his tenant's chakra on friend and foe alike, with increasingly damaging results. There are also rumors that a group of missing nin have been attacking places that house Biju or Jinchuuriki. I for one feel the Uzumaki has become to great a liability for the leaf. I call for banishment."

In the end, after much arguing, and despite the opposition of several clan heads, Danzo's argument carried the day. Naruto Uzumaki was banished. He was not as pleased with the disposition of the Uchiha's sentence.

"In light of the potential benefits of keeping the Uchiha, he will not be executed. He will however have his ninja license revoked until such time as he has been proven mentally fit. For running away from the Leaf, he will also serve at least the minimum sentence of six months in confinement. As has been suggested by representative of The Haruno clan, he will also be married off to several women to both ensure the continuance of the Uchiha Clan, and hopefully to create ties to keep him in the leaf. This harem, in accordance with the clan repopulation act, will include but is not limited to Sakura Haruno, Ino Yamanaka, and Hinata Hyuuga. Root, however, will not be re-formed to aid in the rehabilitation of Sasuke." Stated elder Homura, with a mild smirk for Danzo, who was scowling.

'if not the _last_ Uchiha, then maybe I can secure one of his offspring for ROOT' thought Danzo, and subsided.

"Now that those items of business have been dealt with, are there any other motions?"

Sasuke lay in the darkness. Chakra draining seals, immobility seals, padded leather restraints, and a steady drip of something into a I.V. line kept him from moving so much as a muscle, but his mind still raced freely. Too bad it was mostly stuck in a cycle of thought and not really going anywhere. Those thoughts mostly centered on anger and envy toward his blond erstwhile teammate, and on the need to get stronger to kill his brother.

At the sound of footsteps approaching his door, he experienced a smug minute of belief that he was going to be freed, which was immediately frustrated when the Hokage and her brown haired lackey came in. The sour look on her face once again buoyed his hopes.

"Congratulations, Uchiha. I got some good news for you. The council in its infinite… _wisdom_ have decided that this is somehow a case of 'boys will be boys' and that you are not to be punished. In fact, we are going to do everything in our power to help you accomplish one of your lifelong goals." Tsunade watched in revulsion as a self-satisfied smirk managed to fight through the paralyzing agent and onto the traitor's face. Only the prospect of wiping that smirk right off again allowed her to school her features.

"That's right, you lucky bastard, the council has ordered _me_… to help you restore your clan." Tsunade wished she could have a video recording of the smirk morphing into a look of shock and abject horror. "Not personally, of course, as I am thankfully too old to bear your accursed spawn, However, I can help with a few medical marvels, like in-vitro fertilization, to ensure the continuation of the Uchiha line without you ever having to go through the trouble of getting it up."

All of the muscles in his face were clenched in rage, but he still could not move. He settled for glaring at this insolent woman who dared insult him.

Tsunade just gazed back in aloof amusement as her assistant handed her gloves, which she snapped for emphasis, and then a large bore needle. Turning to her 'patient' she said, "you might feel a pinching sensation followed by some stinging in your testicular region."

As an unimaginable pain struck him, Sasuke screamed for all he was worth, but all that came out was a muted moan. Finally, mercifully, he blacked out from the pain.

"I have called you ladies here today at the command of the Council. As you are probably aware, the last Uchiha was returned to us. The council decided that we came too close to losing this bloodline, and so wants to take steps to keep it. That is where you come in. It has been decided that the clan restoration act be put into effect, requiring that Sasuke be married to at least three wives to maximize the potential for offspring. You three were selected for this. Further, it has been recommended that in vitro implantation be conducted to speed the process along. You will have about a week to decide. Any questions?"

Sakura was elated. Not only was her Sasuke-kun back in the village, but she was to be married to him. This was the best day of her life. Inner Sakura was doing a full cheerleading routine. "No Hokage-sama. I am fine with all of this." She said as she smiled.

Ino was a little more conflicted than her longtime rival for Sasuke's affections. While she had long harbored dreams of being married to Sasuke, nothing about this situation seemed to match up with her dreams. A week ago she would have jumped at the chance, even of sharing him in marriage, but things had changed. He had, by reports, assaulted both of his teammates, and indirectly led to both of hers being put in the hospital. To top it all off, he had left them, all of them, to join one of the worst traitors to the leaf. And there was nothing to say that he wouldn't just leave again. "May we see him? I would like to talk to him if I may."

Hinata was crushed. Not only was she being married to someone besides her Naruto-kun, but to the very person who had put him in the hospital. She came as close as a person of her temperament could to hating the Uchiha. But it did not sound like she had much of a choice in the mater. "If this is your order, Hokage-sama, then I will carry out my duty." She said with a resigned air, fighting with all her being to keep back her tears.

Bowing low, Hinata bravely asked "Is that all, Hokage-sama, or may I leave? I would like to be at the hospital when they wake up." She gave what she hoped was an acceptable excuse.

The Hokage nodded her acquiescence. "Of course, Hinata, I understand your thoughts are elsewhere. We will meet again in five days or so to finalize the plans. You may go."

After the door had closed Sakura burst out "Geez! Ino, can you believe her? She gets betrothed to the greatest guy in Konoha, but she acts like she is being asked to commit seppuku."

"Well she does have the worlds biggest crush on Naruto, so I'm kinda not surprised. I feel kind of sorry for her, actually" Ino replied in a more thoughtful tone

"Oh come on! This is Sasuke we're talking about, he's a much better catch than that idiot." Sakura interjected with confident bluster.

"Have a heart, Sakura. It must hurt to have your lifelong dreams dashed like that. I know I'd be crushed if I was forced to marry someone besides the one I was in love with."

"Lucky for us that's not a problem." Sakura said enthusiastically.

"Yeah, lucky us." Ino said, but didn't sound too convinced

'hmm, so the Hyuga girl prefers Naruto, eh?' thought Tsunade. "Ok, girls, lets meet again in five days. You can tell me then your decisions about the implantation."

Hinata managed to get out of the Hokage tower and around the next corner before the first tear pushed its way out. She picked up her pace to a quick trot, but a few blocks down a sniffle and then a sob broke free. She began to run toward the hospital, hoping the lesser evil of being seen running would cover the greater one of being seen crying. Slowing to compose herself at the door to the hospital, she walked as serenely as she could manage through the lobby and past the check-in nurse, before picking up her pace again down the hall. Finally, sliding open the door to Naruto's room, she fell to her knees at the foot of his bed, and let go of her grief in great, wracking sobs.

"Oh Naruto!" She wailed. "Its just not fair! Why can't it be you I marry instead of that bastard." And she continued to soak the sheets over his feet in her tears.

She wasn't aware of another presence in the room until she felt a comforting hand on her shoulders. She stiffened at first in surprise, and then relaxed into the soothing motions. Tsunade hummed and shushed her until she calmed down.

"You love Naruto, don't you?" Tsunade asked gently. Hinata nodded, unable to bring herself to talk. "Well, I think I might be able to help you out. Tell me, would you be willing to leave the village if it meant you could be with Naruto, and not have to marry Sasuke?"

"Yes." Hinata said quietly, knowing that her father would be ashamed at this admission.

"I understand from your sensei that you are interested in medicines, as well. How would you like to become my apprentice?" said Tsunade with a slight smirk.

"Th-that would… I would be honored Hokage-sama." Hinata bowed her head, overwhelmed that she was being offered such kindness.

"Very well, but call me Shishou or Tsunade, Hokage will always be Sarutobi to me. Now, I am going to have to take a journey pretty soon with the gaki here, and I will be expecting you to accompany us. For now, get a bag packed for a journey of indeterminant length. Be sure to pack any memento's you can't part with in sealing scrolls. I will be by later to explain things to your father, but for now just tell him you have been assigned a mission by your Hokage if he gives you any trouble."

"Thank you Tsunade-sama." On impulse the girl gave her new teacher a hug before turning and walking from the room, wiping the tears from her eyes.

Tsunade smiled at the girl, but her smile faded as she contemplated the blond haired boy before her. 'How am I going to tell you that the village you gave everything for doesn't want you anymore. And do I want to be a part of a village that would do such a thing.'

That's it for chapter 1

I think I have a good bead on where to go for chapter 2 so I hope it comes out sometime this month. I have got a few other story ideas to deal with as well, though. Sorry!


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2: wake up calls / respect my authoritah

Hey all, I'm back with another installment of my take on Perfect Lionheart's Missing Hokage Challenge

I want to thank all of the people who have reviewed my story and added or favorited it. My mailbox filled up like nobody's business. Way to show the love, y'all. I really feel overwhelmed. Days after posting the first chapter, I'm still getting responses. You guys (I mean the term non-gender-specifically) all rock.

Disclaimer: If you believe I own Naruto, I've got a bridge in Brooklyn to sell you.

Both Ino and Sakura had agreed to become brides of the Uchiha. Ino found herself doing so increasingly out of a sense of duty. She knew the importance of the Uchiha clan to Konoha, as a leader of the Sasuke Uchiha fan club she had often cited it as a defense against her crush's detractors. But her doubts about Sasuke had only grown since his return, and the near decimation of her teammates that had entailed. It was hard to discount the suffering of those she had sweated with, bled with, fought beside, who had been beside her every day nearly for the past several months. If she could actually point to having some kind of relationship, even an extensive conversation with Sasuke, it might have assuaged her fears. As it stood, she would do her duty, and hope for the best. But she envied her rival who seemed to be on the moon over their betrothal. Even when they both won in their rivalry, it seemed to Ino that she still lost to Sakura.

The implantation of fertilized ovum in the wombs of the two young Kunoichi had gone off fairly routinely, and they were waiting for a follow up exam in a few weeks to see if the pregnancy had taken. Today was a special day, however. Today the two future brides would finally get to visit their groom to be

Sakura had gone all out to try and impress Sasuke, wearing a formal Kimono, her shorter pink hair elegantly coiffed.

Ino, on the other hand, had heard that Sasuke preferred stronger women, so had remained in her ninja clothes. This necessitated her removing anything that might be usable as a weapon from her person when the pair reached the guard station of the secure wing of the hospital. This stricture extended, (to Ino's amusement and Sakura's great annoyance) to the hair-sticks Sakura had used to style her hair. Then the two were ushered in to the visiting room. It was spare; concrete walls with bolted down table and chairs and a one-way mirror lining one wall. This drove home for Ino even more just how much trouble 'her' Sasuke was in.

After the two were seated, an ANBU lead in Sasuke. He was dressed in a simple light grey jumpsuit, and his hands were bound in ninja cuffs. The Anbu guards sat him in the chair facing the door, and then walked back to guard the entrance.

"Hi Sasuke, it's great to see you. They wouldn't let us see you for weeks after you came back, but I'm sure the council will have you out of here before much longer. How have you been, are they treating you well?" Sakura blithely remained upbeat in the face of these depressing environs.

Sasuke just went "Hnn." And proceeded to study the wall.

"Well anyway, the council decided that we were to be married to you, and help you reestablish your clan, like you said you wanted at the gennin orientation. Isn't that great?"

"What?" now Sasuke was looking at them, but it was not a nice look.

"Yeah, we're your wives now. And soon, we will have your babies and help rebuild your clan. We'll help you get strong, so you don't have to leave."

Sasuke gave a mirthless chuckle. "You? Help me get strong? No, you're too weak. You cannot help me defeat my brother, and so you are nothing to me. You being made my wife and bearing my child changes nothing. I will not recognize you or your child, only the strongest are fit to be Uchiha, and they are not to be found in this village. Go, Sakura, and do not trouble me again."

"Now wait just a damned minute! You can't talk to Sakura that way, and you sure as hell can't talk to me that way! We didn't chose to be made your brides any more than you did, but we are going to make the best of it, and that starts by you showing us a little respect!" Ino exploded at her now husband.

"I will talk to you however I want. You are just as weak as she is, just as useless. All of you are weak. Words without strength to back them up are meaningless, and your voices annoy me."

At this Ino got right up in Sasuke's face. "I'll show you weak! I could kick your ass right now, but we need to work this out, for the sake of our children."

"ENOUGH!" Sasuke swung his metal bound hands and bashed Ino in the face, sending her flying to nervelessly crash onto the floor. "You will never have my children, anything you carry was stolen from me!"

The ANBU flew across the cell and pinned the Uchiha to the wall roughly. The door, meanwhile burst open and Anko Mitarashi dashed in from the observation room next door. Sasuke smashed his bound hands into the stomach of the ANBU pinning him, and just managed to get loose enough to make a break for it, but Anko stopped him short, taking his legs out from under him and slamming him painfully, face first, into the floor.

"You fucked up reeeal good this time, punk." Said Anko, leaning forward towards his ear, a nasty grin adorning her face.

Sakura went to get Anko off of him, but was restrained by the ANBU guard. A few more ANBU came and dragged off the Uchiha, and then Anko came over to check on Ino. Green medical chakra came to her hands, and she ran them over Ino's body to scan for damage. "She'll be alright. It's too soon to tell if it was too much of a shock to the uterus to keep the babies, but time will tell. You can let her go now." Anko nodded to the ANBU officer still holding back Sakura.

"You didn't have to be so rough with Sasuke." Sakura glowered at Anko.

"Yes I did! He just clocked your friend and made a break for it. Your friend, I might add, who just stood up for you to that emo bastard. A little appreciation and concern on her part is warranted." Anko gave Sakura a sidelong look.

"Ah, Sasuke didn't mean it, he's just under a lot of stress. Besides, Ino shouldn't have yelled at him." Sakura said, but sounded less than sure.

"What room were you in? He could have killed her! I don't have time for this, I'm taking Ino to check her into the hospital. You can stay here and wallow in your delusions by yourself."

With that, Anko hoisted Ino up over her shoulder in a fireman's carry and walked out of the room. Sakura broke down from the intensity of the situation sat down on the metal chair, and began to cry.

Homura and Koharu barged into the office of the Hokage, trailed by Danzo.

"Tsunade, It has come to our attention that you are planning on escorting the… Uzumaki out on his exile." Began Koharu, her tone akin to a schoolteacher scolding an errant child.

Tsunade cursed under her breath. This was not what she wanted to deal with at the moment. "I am taking my new apprentice on a training mission, and figured I might as well see Naruto on his way. I fail to see how this is your concern." Tsunade attemped to remain neutral in speaking to them, despite wanting to introduce them to the wall via her fists.

"That is unacceptable. You have been letting too much paperwork pile up as it is. By order of the council, you are forbidden from leaving the vicinity of the Hokage mansion and tower, until you have satisfied us that you are doing your job properly. Otherwise we will be forced to petition the Daimyo to have you removed as Hokage."

Tsunade gaped. Could they even do that? "Who do you think you are, ordering me, the Hokage, around like that? Get the hell out of my office you dried up old prunes!"

"We will allow you to regain your composure, but the order still stands. Good day, Tsunade." The trio left again.

That was it. It was officially ON now. No way in hell was she going to take this lying down. "ANBU!" two forms ghosted into view in front of her. "Bring me Jiraya."

In the hospital, Ino was lying in a bed, still unconscious. Shizune was checking on her as the senior medical officer on duty. "You were right, Anko, there doesn't seem to be much damage besides the concussion and the edema and swelling in the face. We'll see if it damaged the implantation of the fetus on her uterine walls, but I'm hopeful as there doesn't appear to be any bleeding or trauma in the area to suggest a problem. As you are aware, it is too soon to tell if the implantation took at all, let alone whether it was damaged, so we'll have to wait and see." Shizune gave Anko an appraising look. "You are to be commended, Anko on your knowledge of medical techniques. Have you thought of training to be a field medic? The pay is good and it would give you some variety from your interrogation and assassination missions."

Anko quirked a wry smile. "I'll think about it. Tell me, how are the retrieval team doing?"

"They all survived, mostly intact. Shikamaru's wounds are mostly psychological, for the damage his friends and teammates sustained while carrying out his orders. Physicaly, except a splint on his finger he is fit for duty. Kiba is mostly recovered from his wounds, though Akamaru may take a little longer according to his sister. Chouji is restricted to bed for another month at least, but he is enjoying the doctor's stricture that he eat a lot to regain some of his lost weight. Neji, too, is off active duty, and is in a wheelchair for another week to give his core muscles time to fully heal. Lee is about where he was before the mission; another few weeks of light training and he should be declared fit again." Here Shizune paused, as she had reached the person who was bothering her most.

Anko didn't miss this slip. "And Naruto?" Anko wouldn't admit it to anyone, but she kind of had a soft spot for the knuckle-head. In the aftermath of the chunin exams, she had reviewed the reports of what had happened with team 7 in the forest of death. She was impressed with the way Naruto had managed to defeat two of the large snake summons, as well as his selfless defense of his teammates against Orochimaru. Granted, it hadn't made much of a difference to her former sensei, but the kid earned marks for standing his ground and pushing 'Roachy even a little. It was more than could be expected from any gennin. Then there was the defeating Garra thing, and the fact that he, like she, faced the scorn of the villagers for something beyond their control. So she felt a certain kinship with the annoying blond brat.

"Well, we're not quite sure what to make of that. On anyone else, the wounds he received would have been fatal. The chidori strike barely missed his heart and damaged much of the left lung. His medical records show, unfortunately, that he has received nearly as bad injuries in the past, but that he always recovered much more quickly previously. Something seems to be going wrong, but we're not sure what, all his other wounds have healed. The only clue we have is that there is a discoloration in the scar tissue around the chidori burn, and his normal healing factor is much diminished in that area."

"Discoloration?" asked curiously.

Shizune nodded, "Yeah, it's the strangest thing, but there are weird black marks mixed in with the scar tissue, almost like tattoos."

"Tattoos? Show me!" Anko said in strangled voice.

The two rushed into the next room, which just happened to be Naruto's. Shizune pulled the hospital gown down, exposing Naruto's chest, and Anko gasped in shock. "This… this is Orochimaru's curse seal!"

Shizune was almost as shocked as Anko. "The curse seal? I guess it's possible. With all of the… youkai infusing the wound I guess we might have overlooked other dark chakra. I guess this means that he is suffering from a form of chakra poisoning, like victims of the Kyuubi attack 14 years ago. If that's true, then maybe…"

Shizune, with some help from Anko, proceeded with the long arduous process of filtering out the tainted chakra. While unable to remove it, they managed to seal it into a small tattoo like seal mark on his shoulder. Shizune would have to remember to ask Jiraya to take a look at it and make sure it wouldn't be able to affect her 'little brother'.

Anko, for her part, was stunned that the blond now had more in common with her than ever. 'That's it, I'm looking after him from now on. Us outcasts have to stick together, and he'll need all the help he can get dealing with 'Roachy-chan. Plus, he's almost cute, when he's not busy being loud and obnoxious, like a kid brother that you love despite bugging the shit out of you.'

"You called for me, Hime?" said a white haired man currently coming in through the Hokage's window.

"Ah, Jiraya, you're here. Good. I need your help to deal with a few problems I have been having with the council. As you are probably aware, they are banishing Naruto."

Jiraya's eyes flashed with anger. "Yes, I had heard that."

"Well, they are claiming the authority of the Daimyo, saying that he will back their decision in this instance. I was wondering if I could get you to do an end run and feel out the Daimyo about whether this is in fact true. The council was in here earlier, and claimed the same authority to bar me from seeing Naruto off, restricting me to the grounds of the Hokage tower and mansion, on penalty of losing the hat. I was originally just going to take a short vacation to get him settled, and have Shizune keep Hinata nearby 'training' to keep her away from the Uchiha, but at this point, I am about ready to flip them the bird on the way out the gate, and let them try to get me ousted." Tsunade smirked.

Jiraya growled. "Traitorous bastards. That is tantamount to blackmailing the Hokage."

"Exactly, and who's to say they won't try it again in the future. I didn't let you and Naruto drag me back to this god-forsaken village just to be a puppet for the council. I have half a mind to just renounce the village for good this time, but I don't want to invite the hunter nin to try and pick me and the brat off. Anyway, I also thought I could appoint you my successor to run damage control in case they manage to push through to get me removed." Tsunade looked at him hopefully.

"Sure thing, but don't toss in your hat just yet. Let me see the councils edict, and then I'll see what I can hammer out on your behalf with the fire-lord." Jiraya looked thoughtful.

"Knock yourself out." Said Tsunade, tossing him the scroll.

Jiraya pored over the edict, before a sly smile stole over his face. Suddenly he barked out with laughter. "That brat must be wearing off me, but I think I know a way around this that will stick it to the council at the same time. Just leave everything to me. When do you want to leave by?"

"Three days should give me enough time to get things ready for travel, then we'll just be waiting on the brat to wake up."

Naruto awoke from disturbing dreams, tossing and sweating. In his dream, A giant fox had grappled with an equally large snake, while a large deformed bat with a duck's-but hairstyle had swooped and wheeled about overhead. After pointedly pushing aside considering what it was supposed to mean (as anything to do with foxes couldn't be good) Naruto regarded the ceiling. 'So, the hospital. Wonder how the mission turned out?'

His musings were cut short by the sounds of someone sobbing traveling through the wall from the room next door. His kind nature overcame his sense of discretion, and he swung his aching body out of the bed and padded out of the room (carefully turning off the alarm on the vitals monitor and disconnecting the electrodes, this was not the first time he had snuck out of a hospital room.) Knocking softly on the next door over, he slipped inside. The room was dark, but not so much so that he couldn't make out a familiar figure. "Ino?" his voice croaked out from disuse. "I heard you crying. You ok?"

Ino looked up from holding her face in her hands, startled. Her eyes were red from crying, and her hair was messy, but the only thing Naruto saw was the big bruise on the side of her face.

"Ino, your face! What… what happened?" Gasped Naruto, his voice brimming with concern.

Ino hesitantly spoke, happy for the company, even if it was only Naruto. "Sasuke." Naruto's eyes flashed in anger and he growled 'teme' under his breath. Ino continued, "Sakura and I went to see him, and he was really rude to Sakura. When I called him on it, he… he hit me. I don't remember what happened after that until I woke up here a little while ago."

Naruto crossed the intervening space between them and enveloped her in a hug. A second later, Ino returned it, glad for any comfort at this point. "He… he told us we were… nothing, that he could never love us, because we were 'too weak'. I couldn't believe it. All the time I… we wasted loving that guy, and he treats us both like shit. No more!" All the while, tears fell from her eyes and onto Naruto's hospital gown. Naruto rubbed his hand up and down back and made soothing sounds, like he had seen mothers do for their crying children countless times at the park, while he looked on with envious eyes from the shadows. But for now, all that mattered to him was making the girl crying in his arms feel better again.

"I think something happened to Sasuke during the forrest of death. He hasn't been the same since he got that weird mark from the snake bastard. He just seems to get more and more angry. But that still doesn't excuse him hitting you. That's just wrong. You and Sakura have been nothing but nice to him, and he is an idiot for not treating two pretty girls like you a lot better." Naruto blushed a little at admitting he thought Ino was pretty.

Ino smiled at Naruto's admission. She knew she looked good, most of the time, but it was nice to hear it out loud once in a while, especially when her self-esteem had just taken a beating like it had at the hands of Sasuke. "You know, Naruto, your actually a pretty good guy now I get to know you." They both chuckled a little at this, just because it felt good to laugh again. "Thanks."

"Anytime." Said Naruto. Ino began to drowse, and Naruto helped lay her back in her bed, before wishing her a good night and slipping back into his own room to try and catch a little sleep himself.

The next morning Ino found herself in the Hokage's office, for a final medical exam at Tsunade's hands.

"Everything seems normal, and I'm sure you'll be happy to note that the bruising should fade in a few days." Tsunade smiled sympathetically at the blonde girl in front of her.

"Hokage-sama, um, is there any way I could… not be married to Sasuke? Frankly, after yesterday, he made it pretty clear he has no intention of being a husband to me anyways, and right now I feel like if I never see him again it will be too soon." Ino looked at Tsunade hopefully.

"Ino, I won't lie to you, right now the council seem to have a lot of backing from the fire-lord, such that I'm not sure I can over-turn their decision making you Sasuke's wife. That said, after the way he treated you, I will do everything in my power to make sure you don't have to stay with him if you don't want to, or bear his children."

"Oh I'll bear his child, if only to make sure one of the future Uchiha doesn't end up all fucked up. If I have to raise them myself, I'll see to that."

"Ok, one solution is to take you out of the village. I'll sign papers releasing you from the authority of the village. The only problem is that you will no longer be an active shinobi of the village until we find a more permanent solution. You will also have to stay out of the village until that time. I can arrange for friends and family to come visit you, and also for you to have a safe home and the best medical care while you are out of the village."

Ino looked down, a worried frown on her face. What Tsunade was describing was virtual exile. On the other hand, she could not take the chance that her child would end up like its father. "If it's the only way, I accept your offer, Hokage-sama."

"Very good. Pack your things, and meet me here two nights from now, and we'll go over the plan. Oh and don't forget to ask your parents and your sensei for some training materiel. If they ask, just tell them I'm taking you on a training mission."

'In fact, that gives me an idea.' Tsunade thought.

"I Tsunade Senju, Godaime Hokage, hereby decree that all active genin teams will have one member train in basic medical jutsu to offset losses to the medic corps. To that end, the kunoichi member of each gennin team are temporarily reassigned to a medic training class. Anko Mitarashi and Yuuhi Kurenai are temporarily assigned to help teach the medic class. The remaining team members will be paired with the team-members of another team, and the sensei's will cross teach them to strengthen and broaden the skill sets of our gennin.

I Tsunade Senju, Godaime Hokage, hereby decree that my successor is Jiraya. If at any time I am indisposed, on vacation, or otherwise temporarily unable to execute my duty as Hokage, he has my authorization to act as interim Hokage, and at the time I leave the office he shall take it after me.

I Tsunade Senju, Godaime Hokage, hereby decree that Naruto Uzumaki, Hinata Hyuuga, and Ino Yamanaka are released from all obligations and debts to the village hidden in the leaves including Military service, criminal and monetary obligations, and taxation. All of their property is remanded to their custody. I leave them their ninja ranks, as unaffiliated ninja and give them blessings to join whatever village they wish.

I Tsunade Senju, Godaime Hokage, hereby decree that due to attrition team seven is disbanded, and the remaining members are to be reassigned to other duties. Team leader Hatake Kakashi is hereby reassigned to teaching Ninjutsu at the ninja academy. He is ordered to make a catalogue of his techniques according to rank, and make available all non clan or personal jutsus to his fellow educators to be evaluated for inclusion into the ninja curriculum. Sakura Haruno is assigned to the library until further notice, in deference to her upcoming maternity leave from the ninja corps. Sasuke Uchiha, after serving his sentence, may be evaluated by the current Hokage for inclusion onto a new gennin team.

I Tsunade Senju, Godaime Hokage, Hereby remand to my custody the effects of the Hokage, the contents of the Hokage Library, Mansion, and tower, until such time as I am requested to return them by my successor. Due to their sensitive nature, any attempt to remove them from my person except by my successor, will be seen as a hostile and traitorous act, punishable by death."

'I hope you know what you are doing, Jiraya. They are going to try and squeeze you like a nut.' Tsunade thought as she wrote that last one.

"Shizune!" the Hokage called for her assistant.

Shizune ran into the room. "Hai, Shishou."

"I want you to go down to the bank and close down these accounts including the safe deposit boxes, and seal the contents. I'll write you the necessary releases and access codes."

Shizune goggled, "But those are… the Senju, the Namikaze, and the… Uzumaki. I see. We are going with him, aren't we? I'm glad."

"Yeah, considering we only came back because of Naruto, it is fitting that we leave the village when he does. Bring him to the office when you're done with that errand, will you. I think it's time to inform him what his future has in store."

The meeting went as well as could be expected considering the unhappy news.

"Naruto, I called you in here because… because the council has pushed through an order of banishment because of your use of the Kyuubi's chakra is being seen as a threat to the village. I am sorry I wasn't there to stop them, but they managed to tie my hands, at least for now. I have Jiraya looking into possibly reversing their decision with the fire-lord, but for now, you're going to have to leave fire country."

Naruto hung his head in dejection. Tsunade felt horrible for being the messenger for news that killed his spirits so.

"I want you to know, I'm coming with you. I don't want to be leader of a village that won't allow you in it. Jiraya is going to take over as Hokage when they eventually force me to step down, but till then, the council can lump it." Tsunade smiled down at him, and he smiled a small smile back at her.

"Thanks Oba-san." Naruto showed her respect by calling her auntie instead of grannie.

"The other thing is, now that you aren't going to be protected by the village anyway, I can finaly tell you about your parents."

Naruto's eyes widened. "You… you know who my parents are?" he said in a small voice.

Tsunade nodded gravely. "I didn't agree with the old man on this, but he ordered that you not be told until you made chunin or reached the age of eighteen, to protect you from your father's enemies inside and outside of the village. Your mother was Kushina Uzumaki, a member of the royal family of the whirlpool country, which was destroyed during the last shinobi war. She died shortly after you were born. She was so excited to be your mother. She loved you right up until the moment she died. Your father was Minato Namikaze, the Yondaime Hokage."

Naruto fell off his chair in shock.

"Your father couldn't ask another family to sacrifice their child when he wasn't willing to. He also thought that your mother was going to be alive to raise you. He wanted you to be seen as a hero, but I think he knew deep down that wouldn't happen. But I think if anyone would be able to handle the life of a Jinchuuriki, it would be you, his son." Reaching forward, Tsunade scooped up the shell-shocked boy and held him as a few tears leaked out of his eyes.

"Anyways, these scrolls and other things of theirs are yours now. You also have a house, and a decent amount of money coming to you. Shizune has that sealed into a scroll to give to you when we reach wherever it is we are settling down. Jiraya will help you go through your apartment and your parents house to seal up any possessions you want to keep."

End chapter 2

I had originally planned on finishing this chapter with them leaving konoha, but it was running a bit long, and more stuff kept coming up as I wrote. I figured you all would be happy for an earlier update, so, you're welcome. I am having fun with this, and thanks again to Perfect Lionheart for posing the challenge. I have enjoyed playing with it almost as much as I enjoyed reading other's entries.

Next time: the incredible hokage tower heist, or fun with sealing


	3. Chapter 3 'the hokage tower heist'

_So, I have taken a loooong time coming out with the next chapter, and I appologize. I basicaly lost my notes, along with the rest of my documents, when the hard drive on my laptop died. remember kidies, always back up! I kind of lost momentum, trying to rewrite what I had lost, and only regained it somewhat when I found a scene that I had downloaded onto another computer for some reason. Anyways, here is the next chapter, and hopefully more will follow. _

The Hokage stood in her office, when the three elder counsel members burst in.

"We have come to order that you make Danzo your successor. You will also restore Root and fully restore us three to full health. Lastly, we order that you kill Naruto Uzumaki."

The hokage stood with her arms crossed, her coat draped across her shoulders, and a straw in her mouth, like a yakuza. "Who do you think you are talking to, punks?" she sneered.

Danzo stepped forward, "We hold all the cards, 'Hime'. There's nothing you can do." The aged cripple began to chuckle. His mocking laughter was taken up by the other two, until...

Whump! The Hokage seemed to appear before Danzo, and kicked him in the nuts so hard, his remaining eyeball popped out of it's socket.

"Then I guess I didn't just do that. Che, you wimps got nothin'!" Tsunade taunted.

"Gaurds!" Shouted Homura. Suddenly the perimeter of the room was filled with Anbu sporting 'NE' masks. "You made a mistake messing with us, Bitch! Get her!"

The Hokage just smiled and lifted one of her hands from concealment, before snapping her fingers. As suddenly as they had appeared, the Root ANBU collapsed where they stood. Crouched in the Hokage's shadow, clad in black clothes and a flowing orange scarf tied across his lower face like a mask, was a certain blond haired boy, his eyes glinting like polished steel.

"ANBU, take this traitor scum away." Figures appeared, clad in black, western-style suits and animal masks with black sunglasses over the eyes appeared and carted the councilors away, followed by the motley assortment of unconscious Root. "Good Job, Naruto. I can see I chose well in appointing you my successor. Truly you are the most bad-ass ninja in the elemental nations."

"And he's my boyfriend." said a certain pink haired Kunoichi clad in a rather skimpy version of her normal dress.

"Naruto-sama, I have decided that you are inarguably the superior ninja, therefor I beseech your aid in helping to defeat my brother." said a kneeling Uchiha Sasuke.

"I could do no less for my best friend." The two teammates smiled at each-other.

Suddenly Jiraya hopped in through the window. "Naruto."

"yes?" the blond responded.

"Naruto!" the toad sage repeated, and started to shake him.

"What is it, Ero-sennin?"

"It's time to get up. Wakey Wakey, gaki!"

Naruto blinked open his eyes taking in a darkened room, with his ridiculously dressed sensei standing over him, shaking him. "Oh man, that was a good dream, too..." the blond whined sleepily.

"Cheer up, kid. I've got something that will make you smile." The toad sennin chuckled at his student's skeptical look. "How would you like to help me with the biggest prank the village has ever seen."

The corners of the blond boy's mouth tugged upwards, and a hopeful light reentered his dulled eyes. "What kind of prank?"

"Well, the council have confined Tsunade to remain in the vicinity of the tower at all times, so we're just going to help her get around that. The plan is..." The two began to conspire, Naruto becoming more and more animated as the explanation went on.

Two figures darted through the pre-dawn streets. The taller of the two signaled the shorter to halt, and they waited a moment before continuing. They dashed forward again at the tall one's signal and soon reached their destination, an imposing edifice in the hart of the city. Quietly, the shorter one formed his fingers into the shape of a cross, and whispered, "shadow clone jutsu." The smoke from the technique blended with the morning mist, and soon there were close to two hundred copies of the shorter figure. Wasting little time, the taller figure took a large scroll from his back, and unsealed a large pot and several brushes. Meanwhile, most of the clones took string and went to stand at specific points on the building, clinging there with chakra and stringing lines in a pattern between them. The remaining clones, as well as the original, gathered around the pot and dipped brushes within, coming out with ink.

Dashing quickly but carefully so as not to spill, the team went to their designated start points, and began to trace out a pattern on the building, using the guide lines strung out by their fellow clones. Soon, the entire surface of the building was covered in a tracery of strange designs.

Jiraya had to admit, he was impressed. Care and precision where not something one thought of when they thought of the blond knucklehead ninja, but it appeared there was a special exemption clause for pranks. The boy had listened with rapt attention as Jiraya had laid out his plan, and then quietly created around two hundred clones which went about the work. True this was the least complicated part of the sealing process, connecting the many pre-written seal 'nodes' into one large seal. Still, Naruto showed an innate knack for sealing, once you could convince him to sit still long enough to explain it. He would have to pass along some basic sealing scrolls for the boy if he could manage it.

After his clones ran a last check to make sure there where no misplaced or incomplete lines, they all gave the thumbs up and poofed out of existence, the ninja smoke dissipating into the early morning mist. "Now what, Pervy sage?"

"Now we make a few last minute preparations and then wait for everyone else to show." A voice came out of the mist to them. Naruto barely managed to choke back his cry of surprise, at which Tsunade chuckled a bit. "Morning brat. Jiraya."

"Granny, your up early! You feeling ok?" Naruto made to check her forehead's temperature with the back of his hand.

Tsunade playfully swatted his hand away and growled, "Can it, brat!"

The two grinned at each-other. Tsunade was glad to see that he was back to his usual cheerful self, at least for now. She also held the slightest bit of glee imagining the faces of the council when they saw what was about to happen.

"ANBU." She called out. Two dark shapes materialized out of the fog. "Check the building one last time for anyone who may be inside. We wouldn't want anyone to get hurt, would we?" she chuckled. The two ANBU leapt away to perform their task. A few minutes later they returned. The one in a bird mask stood at attention before the Hokage.

"No signs of anyone within the building, Hokage-sama."

"Very well, Jiraya; proceed."

The white haired man flashed through a sequence of seals and then rested his chakra wreathed hands against the nearest seal node. Bright lines of chakra traced along the ink lines naruto's clones had painted on the building, until all of the seal nodes where lit up. Then Jiraya called out "Sealing Art, Great Storage Seal" A large scroll fluttered open, with a corresponding seal to the ones on the building, which began to shine brightly. Then, anticlimactically, the lights, and the building disappeared. All that was left was the scroll, which Jiraya rolled up and handed to Tsunade.

"You have outdone yourself, Jiraya. Now I can leave without the council claiming I violated their edict."

"I did good, didn't I. How about a kiss?" Jiraya gave a lecherous chuckle, for which Tsunade bopped him on the head.

"Pervert." Tsunade scowled.

Jiraya leaped back up from the ground, a more serious expression on his face. "I couldn't help it, I won't be seeing you around the village for a while. I'll miss you."

"Wait, aren't you going with us sensei?" Naruto asked in confusion.

"Nah, I gotta go see the fire lord about a few things, and then make sure the council doesn't get too frisky in your absence. I'll come visit as soon as I can though."

Naruto nodded, and gave the toad sage a hug, "I'll miss you, sensei."

"Take care of yourself, and thanks Jiraya." Said Tsunade, with a fond smile for her old teammate.

"Anything for you, Hime." Jiraya said with a roguish smile.

"Stop being a pervert?" Tsunade asked with a matching smile.

"Anything except that." Jiraya conceded, still smiling.

"Well I guess all that is left is to give notice." Tsunade chuckled to herself as she pulled out a post that had been lying against the telephone pole and drove it into the earth in the middle of the area that had until recently housed the Hokage tower, and then affixed a copy of the edicts she had written to the post. Her walking papers filed, so to speak, she turned and led Naruto and Jiraya toward the gate.

At the gate, three more figures were waiting for them, wraithlike in their wrappings of ANBU issue matched travel cloaks. The Hokage nodded to the tallest of the three, who dropped her concealing hood, revealing Shizune. "Tsunade-sama, we are ready to go."

The blond Hokage turned to her blonde compatriot, "Did you forget anything, Gaki?"

The boy shook his head, "It's not like I have time to go get it if I did. Besides, if I turn back now, I may not be able to leave." he gave a sad grin over his shoulder at his beloved home, and whispered 'goodbye'. Then he dashed through the gate followed by the hokage and the two cloaked figures.

"Be safe gaki, hime." said Jiraya as they went beyond sight down the road. Then, he too set off, but through the trees.

After ten minutes of jumping tree to tree, Jiraya stopped in a clearing that showed signs of a large battle that included doton jutsu. biting his thumb, Jiraya went through a short sequence of handsigns, and spoke, "Summoning jutsu." In a small puff of smoke, a small toad joined him in the clearing. "Gamahana, I want you to get a sense of the residual chakra signatures, and tell me what you can piece together about the battle."

"Wow, something reeks. What kind of chakra is that?" The toad puffed out it's cheeks and scrubbed over it's nostrils, as though trying to claw the scent out of it's nose manually.

"I'm sorry, but it cannot be helped. I need to get a more detailed account of the sequence of events before petitioning the Daimyo to reverse the banishment of Naruto. Do you think you can help me?"

Jiraya tried his best beseeching face, which unfortunately was usually only good for begging a crowd of outraged women for a beat-down. Fortunately, Jiraya's skills of persuasion were not needed this day.

"Wait, Naruto... that blond lunkhead 'Kichi and 'Tatsu are always going on about? How the heck did he get banished? I thought he didn't have a disloyal bone in his body." The small toad seemed perplexed.

"Well, unfortunately, those who had his loyalty did not return it. For political expediency, and no small amount of spite, they decided to use the success of his most recent mission to return his wayward teammate as an excuse to get rid of him." Jiraya stated, with mild annoyance on behalf of his pupil.

"Wait, they kicked him out for succeeding to bring back his teammate. I'd hate to think what they would do to you if you did the same."

Jiraya rolled his eyes, "Be that as it may, would you mind helping out?"

"Sure, I don't think I'd hear the end of it from Kichi and Tatsu if I didn't, not to mention Boss Bunta."

After a few minutes sniffing around, and a few more discussing the findings while Jiraya took notes, the two took off for the site of the next battle, the toad riding on Jiraya's shoulder. There, Jiraya took a few of the scattered kunai made of the golden material created by the spider-like kidoumaru and sealed them away after taking notes on 'Hana's findings. The trip down into the canyon took a little longer, but they checked on the battle between the twins Sakon and Ukon and the dog and his boy.

As the two drew near to a swath of forest that had been reduced to firewood by Temari's summon, the toad tensed at foreign chakra signatures, just as jiraya heard the faint clanging of weapons striking each-other. Activating his cloaking jutsu, Jiraya snuck the two into the clearing, and before them, over the site of the previous battle, a new one was being waged. At first it seemed a squad of ANBU were engaging a squad of Sound ninja, probably chuunin level. However, something seemed off about the ANBU, and Jiraya realized that they were not up to the level usually associated with that rank, and also they all wore matching masks with the character "Ne" adorning them. The source of contention was the limp body of the Kunoichi of the sound four. Jiraya decided to let events unfold before interfering.

Despite their sub-rank skills, the "Ne" ANBU managed to subdue the Sound nin in short order, but not without casualties. One of the Ne team seemed slightly more aware, and began looking around uneasily, but the apparent leader barked out "Fall in, we need to get this specimen to Danzo for study."

Jiraya had heard enough. Falling upon them almost unawares, he took them down in a matter of seconds. The last thing the world needed was for Danzo to get his hands on Orochimaru's curse seal. going over to the body in question, he was amazed to find her still breathing. "Hm, what to do with you?"

The quintet including the Hokage and Naruto had been traveling along the road for about an hour. The pace had slowed about five minutes in, but they had yet to stop, trying to put some distance between themselves and Konoha. Finally, Tsunade called out, "Ok, time for breakfast." the five stepped off the road into a small clearing. As Shizune set about making a fire to boil water for tea, Naruto watched the mysterious cloaked pair out of the corner of his eye. His eyes bugged out when the two removed their concealing hoods.

"Ino-chan? Hinata-chan? What are the two of you doing here?" Naruto asked.

"Ano, Hokage-sama made me her apprentice." Hinata said to the general vicinity of her twiddling forefingers.

"That's great, Hinata-chan! Congratulations, I'm sure you'll do great." Naruto enthused to the shy girl, who blushed and smiled at the praise.

"As for me, I am leaving town to protect my kid from becoming like his father." Ino huffed a little in annoyance. Naruto shot her a sympathetic smile, for which Ino was grateful. She may not crave Naruto's attention like her blue-haired cohort, but she was glad for his support since the hospital.

"Well, I am glad to have you along with me, for however long it lasts." Naruto smiled at them, with a slightly bittersweet smile.

"Soup's on." called out Shizune.

Naruto bounded over, "Soup? There's Soup? Is it ramen?" He asked, with all the energy of a puppy.

"Sorry Naruto, I was being metaphorical. All we have time for is tea and ration bars." Shizune said apologetically. Seeing his adorable pout, Shizune looked to her teacher, who nodded subtly. "Tell you what, we have some left over water from the tea, and I think I have a bowl of instant ramen here somewhere... ah, here we go! but you have to eat half a ration bar, too. You'll need the nutrients for the journey." Naruto nodded his acquiescence enthusiastically. He would and had done much more onerous things for the sake of ramen. The women in the clearing smiled at this display.

The group ate breakfast in companionable silence, well excepting the slurping of ramen noodles. As most of them had finished, Tsunade decided to get down to business. "I think it's time to make a plan as to where we are going."

"Weh ah wash go in ta abe." Naruto attempted around his noodles.

"Care to repeat that? I don't speak Ramenese." Tsunade quipped.

Naruto swallowed down his mouthful of ramen-y goodness before speaking again, "Well before I knew you all were coming with me, I was kind of thinking of going to wave. I kind of wanted to check in on them, and I promised Inari I would come visit. But we don't have to, it was just a thought, I just thought..." Naruto's ramble wound down.

Tsunade smiled at the boy, "Wave sounds fine; though we probably shouldn't stay too long, it'll give us a place to stay until we make more solid plans."

Naruto smiled sheepishly at this reassurance.

_There we go, a little short for my tastes, but it is a step in the right direction and I wanted to post something. I hope this coaxes some of my fellow MHC writers to update as well ;)_

_Gamahana translates to Toad-nose. I figure since the Sage-mode is all about sensing natural chakra, chakra sensing must be a trait that at least some of the toads have, and this particular one uses chakra sensing rather like a hound-dog uses smell. _

_until next time (and I have no idea, sadly, of when that might be)_


	4. Chapter 4: Ghosts of the Past

Chapter 4: Ghosts of the Past

Jiraya sat in Morino Ibiki's office. Few would actively seek out the head of torture and interrogation for ANBU, but Jiraya found his tough, no nonsense attitude and absolute loyalty to the village as very desirable traits in a friend right now.

"Jiraya-san, what can I do for you?" the scarred interrogator asked.

"Well, for starters, I need someplace safe to stash someone until we can do a little house-cleaning." The Sennin gestured to a human shaped bundle in the corner.

"And why am I getting into the hospitality business." Ibiki asked wryly.

"Well that brings us to my second request; We have something of a Root infestation, and I need someone to help dig it out. I caught some of Danzo's puppets trying to nab one of the sound four, for who knows what ends. Feel like doing a stint for internal affairs? I'll give you loose reigns, your choice of staff, and you'll report only to me."

Ibiki got an even more sour look on his face than usual. "I. A., huh? we haven't had an active internal intelligence department since the Uchiha took the M. P. with them. Fine, I guess I can't expect anyone else to get this done properly. Besides, I have a feeling I'm going to enjoy some of the interviews. I'll let you know my team by week's end. Now, who's the lucky guest?"

The group had made a leisurely pace towards wave, and had decided to stop for the night within the borders of Fire Country before crossing over into wave the next day. After placing their packs in a clearing off of the main road, Tsunade sent the three gennin off to get camp supplies. Ino was tasked with fetching some water, Hinata with foraging for edible plants and mushrooms, and Naruto with gathering firewood. It seemed no sooner had he moved out of sight of the others that he was suddenly surrounded by four figures in ANBU uniforms. Their masks, however, were blank except for the katakana symbol for NE, utterly lacking the usual animal shapes and decorations. Naruto sank into a horse-stance, preparing for a fight. "Who are you?" he demanded warily.

"Naruto." The apparent leader stated, tonelessly.

"What a coincidence, that's my name too. Now why don't you tell me who you really are."

"Uzumaki Naruto." The leader intoned again.

"I already told you, thats me. Now tell me who you are and what your doing here or I'll..."

"Uzumaki _Namikaze_ Naruto" The leader intoned a third time. This had a pronounced an shocking effect. Naruto's entire body seemed to tense, and his eyes glazed over, losing their inner light. His arms fell to his sides, and his chin fell to his chest as his eyes slipped closed.

"Uzumaki, You will subdue Hyuuga Hinata and Ino Yamanaka without damaging them, and return them to location B. These are your orders. Understood?"

Naruto's head rose and faced the lead 'ANBU'. Eyes still closed Naruto responded in in an equally uninflected voice, "Orders understood... and refused. I do not take orders from you."

"It is as leader-sama feared. The controls have failed." The 'ANBU' on the right voiced

A growling chuckle came from the blond demon container. His blue eyes snapped open, but the pupils were slitted. "Your 'leader' failed more than he realizes. He has practically handed me control of this body, and if I wished it, Konoha would fall with ease."

"Execute Gamma protocol. Dispose of primary asset and rejoin me in completing main objective." With that, the apparent captain of this 'ANBU' squad disappeared in a swirl of leaves while his subordinates drew their ninja-to and moved to encircle him.

Suddenly the two 'ANBU that had maneuvered themselves behind and to each side of him dashed forward and simultaneously swung their swords. Moments before the swords could cut him to pieces, Naruto's hands shot out and grabbed them, one in each hand just a bit above the tang, completely stopping their momentum. Blood dripped from where the blades bit into his palms, but he barely seemed to notice. Nor did his arms seem to move a millimeter as the two enemy ninja pushed with all of the strength in their bodies to break his guard, or at least their swords from his grip. Suddenly, his forearms seemed to bulge and with a sharp snapping sound, both swords broke at the handle, only for their blades to be shoved into the chests of the ones who had wielded them.

The remaining 'ANBU' quickly flipped through handseals, and breathed out a great gout of flame towards his former comrades, hoping to at least take out the bloodied blond demon. Those slitted blue eyes just turned to regard him before the flames hid him from sight. As the jutsu tapered off, He beheld the flaming corpses of his two team-mates, held side by side as a sheild, Even as they fell to the ground, his vision was suddenly filled with blonde hair, blue eyes, and scratched cheeks, the head canted ever so slightly to the side as the demon regarded him. A terrible pain blossomed in his his chest, and the blue, slitted eyes held his as his vision dimmed to blackness. The last thing he heard before dying was the growling voice state, "You are worse than trash, as is your captain."

Releasing the kunai holding up the dead body of the 'ANBU', Naruto sniffed the air before bounding into the trees.

Not far away, Hinata was confronted by a certain blank-masked ANBU

"Hinata Hyuuga, the council has decreed that you and Yamanaka Ino will return to Konoha. Do not resist or you will be branded a traitor and killed."

"With respect, ANBU-san, I am on a mission assigned by the Hokage, the council have no authority to supersede my orders." Hinata said, with more confidence than she felt.

"Resistance is futile. By choice or by force, you will be returned to Konoha." The strange 'ANBU' stated, moving into a fighting stance.

Hinata settled into the Jyuuken ready-stance and activated her Byakugan, only to see that the man before her was a bunshin, and that the real ANBU was already behind her. Spinning, she mannaged to land a blow on her opponent, but not before his fist crashed into her face, sending her flying across the clearing and into unconsciousness. As her Byakugan sight left her, she thought she saw her crush, Naruto, enter the clearing.

"Hinata-chan!" Naruto cried out in a voice the most like his normal one since the start of the whole encounter. "You bastard! **I'll KILL YOU!**" He roared the last, his already slitted eyes changing from blue to a burning red. His incisors and his fingernails lengthened and sharpened, his whisker-mark scars deepened and darkened, and a massive killer intent exploded from him, pinning the ANBU in place. As Naruto dashed forward, Red chakra exploded from him, forming a shroud. As the enemy stood helpless in the face of certain death, black marks began to spread up the demons chest and neck. Sudenly, less than a foot from his target, Naruto flinched in pain as a vile dark purple chakra began to mix in amongst his red chakra shroud.

In that moment of weakness, the ANBU was freed to strike, and stabbed at him with a kunai. Naruto recovered enough to grab the ANBU's arms but the weapon slowly, seemingly inexorably, inched it's way toward his face.

"Resistance is futile, I will complete my mission." Intoned the ANBU, pressing forward an inch more.

"**No, you will die**" snarled Naruto. Lunging forward with his torso, Naruto accepted being stabbed in the shoulder with the kunai in order to sink his sharp teeth into the ANBU's neck, and tear out his throat.

As the body slumped lifelessly away from him, the demonic influence began to recede from Naruto. "Oh god..." Naruto managed before bending forward and being violently ill. Finally stopping his dry heaves, Naruto took a few steps backwards, until he tripped and fell on his his ass. Hugging his suddenly freezing limbs to his torso, and drawing in his knees, Naruto rocked backwards and forwards muttering "Oh god." over and over, while tears streamed down his cheeks. Finally, overcome by shock, exhaustion, and pain, he collapsed to the side and into unconsciousness.

Naruto found himself in the sewers that he knew so well, despite having only visited a few times. Strangely, he found that he was not nearly as sore or hysterical as he had been moments ago in the real world. Slogging his way through the darkened hallways, he made his way towards the familiar chamber in his mind.

"OY, Furball." He yelled out to catch his tenant's attention.

**"Oh good, the brat's here."** Kyuubi rumbled, for once already clearly visible at the front of the seal cage.

"What the hell is going on? Who were those fake ANBU guys, and why the hell did I try and eat one of them?" Naruto demanded, crossing his arms in a mild pout.

**"I'll answer your questions soon enough, but at the moment, I'm a little busy."** Kyuubi indicated something with one of his tails.

Moving a little closer, Naruto saw a disgusting purple blob pulsing on the floor of the seal-room, from which tubes snaked across the floor and up the cage wall towards the fox's seal, like some sort of horrific cross between vines and blood-vessels. "What the hell is that?" Naruto shouted, panicking a little. 

**"That is a cursed seal, like the one Orochimaru gave your team-mate. In fact, I think it is a piece of that very seal. It seems it sensed my chakra when we used it and sent out some sort of pseudopod to try and link it's seal to mine. Naturally, I am trying to keep that from happening."** The mighty Kyuubi explained even while using it's tails to try and dislodge the weird appendages.

Adopting a thoughtfull look, Naruto nodded, "That makes sense, I guess. Maybe I can help." Finding that he had no kunai on his person, Naruto held out his hand and created a Rasengan (without a clone, but hey, it's all in his mind). Charging forward, he used the destructive sphere of chakra to hack away at the tentacly whatever-they-were.

Finally, between the two of them, they got the last one. "Whew, that was a workout." Naruto wiped imaginary sweat from his brow.

**"Brat, watch out!"** The kyuubi called out in alarm, but it was too late as a tentacle erupted from the surface of the cursed seal and struck Naruto in the back.

Naruto was five again, facing the shadow obscured figures of the townspeople. all that he could distinguish clearly were those hate-filled eyes.

'Go away', 'we hate you demon', 'Why don't you just die', 'no one wants a demon like you', 'don't come back', the voices began, starting at a whisper and getting louder and louder. One of the figures picked up a rock and threw it at him, striking him in the head. More rocks followed, and then bottles, blows from invisible fists and feet, and the sensation of being stabbed by kunai and shuriken. All the while the voices denigrated him, told him he was unwelcome, worthless, that he should die.

Against this background of noise, a sibilant voice began to speak to him as though from right next to his ear, "This is all that Konoha has given you. They abuse you, curse you. After you strive so hard to protect them, almost die so they can have your team-mate back, they cast you out like trash. They are not worthy of you, Naruto. They are not worthy of your protection. Come to me. I will not reject you. I will help you to pay them back for how they treated you. I will give you revenge. And when you have beaten them, they will have no choice to respect you, to call you Hokage."

The curled up boy that was Naruto began to shake, and then, to chuckle. Soon the chuckle became full blown laughter. "Is that the best you can do, snake teme? Sure, I could go after revenge, but it would destroy everything I have worked for until now. I could have fear, but I would lose the respect of those who already care about me. No, I don't need the village, and I sure as hell don't need you!" Naruto raised his head defiantly.

The shadowy figures coalesced into one. The shadows receded and the figure was revealed to be Orochmaru. "I tried to be nice, to give you what you want, but you are just a stupid boy. Very well. Know this, Uzumaki, you bear my mark, that makes you mine. It is only a matter of time before you are my tool. I will bend you to my will, you will follow my commands, and I will give you nothing in return except the pleasure of serving me." The snake sannin, or his mental construct, glared at the young jinchuriki.

"Wow, you totaly sounded like a pedophile just now. All that talk of tools, bending people and servicing you... you're an even bigger pervert than Ero-sennin." Naruto chuckled

Suddenly the enraged Orochimaru appeared inches from his face and lifted him off his feet by a hand around his throat. "If I didn't have a use for you, I would kill you right now." the snake hissed at him with malice.

Chakra exploded in a corona around Naruto, who suddenly had regained his thirteen year old body. The Sennin managed to resist for only a moment before he was blown several yards away. The pulsating energy slowly lowered the boy to his feet, and he coldly regarded Orochimaru, who was sprawled on his back. "We are done here." Naruto stated, with cold finality.

"We will meet again." countered Orochimaru, before he melted into the shadowy ground. The dreamscape, or whatever it was, faded, and Naruto began to emerge back towards consciousness.

Naruto knelt before a pair of graves marked spartanly with a large, partially buried sword and a cracked mist hunter-mask.

"Zabuza, I want to apologize to you. I hated you for a long time, because I thought you were the reason Haku had to die. I don't know all the details of why you left mist, but I think I understand you a little better. Sometimes ninja get caught in the middle of politics, and all we can do is make the best of it. I still don't agree with you that ninja are weapons first and people second, but I think in the end neither did you. Maybe you never did, and only told yourself that to get by. Anyway, I just want to say, thank you. Although I didn't realize it at the time, you showed me how one can be strong even without a village to protect, as long as you have a few precious people. Well, ok, Haku showed me that more, but, he couldn't have done it without you. I hope your soul finds peace."

"Haku, although we only knew each-other a short while, you changed my life. You helped me find my reason for being a ninja. I need that reason all the more right now. Look out for me, from wherever you are, and wish me luck. I wish you were here to help guide me, but I do have a few friends still, and so I have a purpose. Rest peacefully my friend."

Naruto gave a little bow to the graves, and planted a pair of incense sticks in the earth in front of the markers. Then he stood up, dusted off his knees, and made his way back toward the house. Once sure that he had gone, Hinata stepped out from her place behind the trees. She felt conflicted about whether or not offer support to Naruto as he grieved, or respect his privacy, so naturally she did what she had always done; watch over him from the shadows. Now that he had left, something compelled her to approach the grave site.

Not knowing quite where to begin, Hinata fidgeted. Years of gardening instincts from her youth kicked in, and she began to pluck the more unattractive weeds and generally make the site a little less wild. In a moment of inspiration, she pulled out the sealing scroll of personal items, and unsealed a bulb, one of the ones she had taken from her mother's garden before she left. pulling out a kunai, she began to dig a small hole with it. The rhythmic motions calmed her, and cleared her head, freeing her tongue to speak.

"I am thankful to you for helping Naruto. He has had so few sources of inspiration, and he has been such an inspiration to me, and to many others."

She proceeded to tell of his exploits since he had been in wave, and of all the lives he had touched. "I am glad he met you, even though the memory brings him pain. I just wish you could tell me how to help him. For all that I watch him, I'm starting to feel like I don't actually know him at all, who he really is, behind his brave smile." She had finished planting the bulb, and with luck, a white orchid would grow and make the grave a little less bare. "Mother, look after their souls, as they are precious to someone who is precious to me."

With that Hinata, too, stood and made to go back to the house of Tazuna. Unbeknownst to her, a presence followed her, and in it's wake, a single stalk and flower unfurled and grew from her mother's bulb.

Tazuna, Inari, and Tsunami were all happy to have the blond back with them, and suitably outraged at the reason for his presence. They of course insisted that the hero of wave, and his entourage, join them at the house for the duration of their stay.

Naruto tossed and turned in the throes of a vivid dream. He stood in an underground chamber, not too different to the one in which the seal chamber for the fox resided. Before him floated a ball of flame, which spun around yet stayed contained in a circle or orb. From the voice a flat, emotionless voice spoke to him, telling him that he was a weapon for Konoha, that he would be a tool for it's true Hokage, the Hokage of the Root. Naruto tried to cry out, that he was not a tool but a human, but his voice wouldn't come. Somehow the flame filled his senses, his mind, and stilled his tongue.

"Naruto." a deep voice rumbled.

Naruto felt his senses jolt a little. Sudenly the ball of flame was not a flame at all, but a swirling red wheel with what looked like kunai for spokes. Something about it tugged at the back of his memory, that this was something he had seen before.

"Uzumaki Naruto." the voice growled again.

Again Naruto felt his senses jolt, and now he could make out that the red wheel was actualy the Iris and pupil of an eye; an eye which was affixed in a shadowy figure. The voice which had been speaking to him of subservience to root dulled, and faded out.

"Uzumaki, Namikaze Naruto." The deep voice almost roared.

This time, Naruto felt his whole body jolt, as if waking from sleep. Suddenly, it seemed as though someone had lit a light at his back, illuminating the figure before him. The man, for it was a man, was wrapped in bandages over much of his body, including what apeared to be the stump of his left(?) arm. In his partialy bandaged face, two mismatched eyes stared back at him, one dark, almost black, the other red with a distinctive black markings.

"Mangekyo sharingan. Danzo." Naruto stated in recognition. With that, the scene dissolved, and a familiar one appeared. Once more that day, Naruto found himself standing in front of the Great Fox's cage. "Hello again, Kyuubi."

"Brat, it's time for that talk I promised. You attract people trying to control you with an alarming frequency. You beat back the Snake, for now, But until you find a more permanent solution to that problem, don't even think of trying to access my chakra or that seal will be all over you again." The Kyuubi spoke in rumbling tones, but for once didn't try to intimidate his jailor.

"That... kinda sucks, but it is good to know. What was up with the dream just now? And don't forget about the ANBU guys this afternoon." Naruto, for his part, tried to tone down his energetic tone.

"Well the long and the short of it is, someone, probably that Danzou you mentioned, Put some sort of hypnotic control on you. I'm gonna help you break it, and with any luck, find a way to keep anyone from using that eye on us again." Kyuubi explained.

"Thanks. Why are you being so helpfull to me, anyways?" Naruto asked with only a hint of wariness.

"Well it boils down to shared enemies. I can accept that the death god sealed me into your monkey butt. I don't like it, but I can respect the shinigami's power. But I'll be damned to Makai, again, before I'll accept being ordered around by a human again. I'm not some tamed dog, damn it! I'm a Fox, and I have my pride." Kyuubi almost worked himself up into a frenzy by the end of his rant.

"Again? So, you've been controlled before?" Naruto probed.

'Damn random attention to detail.' Kyuubi mentally grumbled. "Yes, damn it. Let's just say that attacking Konoha the night you were born wasn't exactly my idea. Don't get me wrong, I don't particularly care about your monkey town, but I also wouldn't have bothered with it either under normal circumstances."

Naruto, seeing that this was a sore point, let it slide. "So how are we going to do this?"

"Well, now that I know what's going on, I'll use the trigger to suggest you unlock whatever memories you have repressed, along with any abilities that go with them, and then I'll try implanting a comand to resist further suggestions. lastly, I'm going to have you meditate to gain better controll of your subconscious. I'll warn you, your dreams are going to be a bit... intense while your conscious mind integrates your repressed memories. Hopefully, though, the more you go over them, the less they will affect you."

"This is going to hurt, isn't it?" Naruto asked, resignedly.

"It shouldn't kid, well at least not much. The human memory blunts sensation, so that the mind doesn't mistake memory for current reality. The memories may be a bit disturbing, however." Kyuubi grinned a slightly evil grin.

"Oh well, no way out but through. Hit me." Naruto accepted his fate.

Hinata, too, was having a vivid dream. In it, she found herself back in front of the graves from this afternoon, only now a young woman stood before her. "Greetings, Hinata, my name is Haku."

"Ano, but I thought you were dead? Oh, Sorry! I didn't mean offence, I'm just confused.

The young woman chuckled delicately behind one hand. "Oh don't worry, I'm not offended. I'm not sure how, but when Naruto, and then you, came before my grave, I could see you, hear you, as though I was floating there. I heard both of your wishes, and I too wish I could do something for Naruto. I feel a kinship with him, and he was kind to me, even at the end, when he knew I was his enemy. Anyway, I feel like Kami-sama has given me another chance, and I would like to use it to help the two of you."

"I appreciate the offer. How may you help me?" Hinata smiled at the girl before her.

"Well to start with, I would like to be your friend, and, for lack of a better word, hitch a ride in your mind. You would still be in control, but I will be able to speak to you, and offer you advice." Haku explained.

"I would like that. I am happy to have you as a friend." Hinata's small smile blossomed.

A.N. There we go, I managed to move this forward a bit. I have been been stuck trying to figure out how to go forward, largely having to do with whether or not to have Danzo have conditioned Naruto. It also plays in to how the battle at the valley of the end went down, and whether or not Sasuke is a complete and utter bastard or not. He will not be redeemed, but some of his more extreme actions may be explained, if not excused. I don't know when the next one will come out, hopefully not too long. I've got a start on a future chapter, so that is motivation for me to bridge the intervening chapters. Thank you all for reading.


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